Lunch for lawyers is not for the faint of heart

Your lunch can be very telling, so be very careful.

If you hit a fast-food place — and bring back some sort of extreme-sized burger to the office — some of your fellow attorneys may think you’re not all that health- or planet-conscious.

Meat production? It’s one of the biggest causes of tropic deforestation. As much as 15 percent of climate change emissions are caused by such action. Here’s a story on it.

And those big burgers? Arguably, they’re bad for your health, given the fat content. A Burger King Roadhouse King burger has 1,220 calories. You’re supposed to consume about 2,500 calories a day, so already you’re putting a big dent into the tally.

And if you get fries  …  

Oh, one more thing: Vegans are not thrilled with meat-eaters. And vegans are a growing force. Indeed, according to GlobalData, the percent of the U.S. population that identifies themselves as vegans grew from 1% of the population to 6% from 2014 to 2017. Forbes wrote about it here.

So you might want to ask your client or co-worker, if you’re doing lunch, where he or she stands on the subject. (If you’re a vegan — and this may be hard — no lecturing your co-workers if they go for clam chowder.)

Lunch is hard for attorneys because many don’t have a lot of time to enjoy the mid-day meal. Sometimes you’ve got to get something on the run. (That may not be bad because you can avoid all of these pitfalls ...) 

But if you do occasionally have time— and you’re in other lawyers’ company, particularly senior attorneys — you might want to give some thought to your choices.

Remember, you may not know your lunch partners all that well, and danger lurks everywhere.

Stay away from plastic straws, for instance. It’s estimated that 1 million seabirds die annually from plastic straws. The poor guys think they’re food. So politely ask for a paper straw. If that’s not available, go without. Here’s a story about plastic straws.

Sodas? Very dicey, given the sugar content. Diet sodas are not that much better, given how they’ve been associated with all sorts of health issues. Check out this story.

Bottled water? No, no and no again? (See plastic straws …)

Pizza? That’s a bit of a gamble, given how difficult a thin slice piece can be to eat. They flop. It’s hard to look lawyerly. Go with a thick slice and use a knife and fork. (But please, please, please, not plastic ones.)

Same with fried chicken. Avoid.

For the same reason, beware of tacos, except on Tuesdays.

Here are some safe options:

Salads are a no-brainer, as long as you ask for the dressing on the side. That keeps the calorie content down. Go meatless if you think you’re with a vegan. Also watch out for green stuff getting stuck in your teeth. And keep snacks at your desk because you’re going to be coming back to the office hungry.

Suggest off-the-wall ethnic restaurants. That way you look bold and adventuristic and as well someone who celebrates diversity. If you speak the language, you are golden.

The last option: Bring your own lunch. Make sure it’s in reusable containers, though. And avoid any kind of foods that may be a tad bit odorous.

There, piece of cake … (Oh, go with carrot cake.)